Well, isn't THIS just a pip?

Over a year since I posted here. Many, many changes. First, I'm "retired." I write that with quotation marks because I'm not really "retired," as in giving it UP -- far from it. I'm "retired" -- forcibly and with much negativity and administrative harassment -- from teaching after 31 years because administrators decided they didn't need a credentialed music program. Translate that: other priorities, I made too much money (ha!), and politics. Big time politics. All out of my control, which was difficult to accept and still reigns as a major resentment. I'm working on it. So how do I actually FEEL about this? I'm THRILLED. Time -- MY time. Time to read, to sleep, to lose the damned alarm clock if I want to. Time to pet the Siamese, time to declutter and simplify and design a home environment and a LIFE that I want. Finally. And -- here we go -- time to write. Second, we lost our wonderful Aramis to kidney failure. I am forever in the debt of this wonderful, wise, loving friend. We miss him each and every day, in more ways than I can ever express, but the girls and I are getting better and setting new daily life patterns. I wish he were here to enjoy this new-found freedom of mine -- and perhaps he is in spirit. I sure hope so. Third, I'm HAPPY. Not yet settled into this new life, but I'm getting there and -- I repeat -- I'm HAPPY. And grateful.

Another Monday

...but I didn't cry today. CLOSE on the way home, but I took a forty-five minute nap downstairs and feel tons better.

So three peat governor Jerry Brown presented his budget proposal today - with NO cuts to K-12 education. Thank God. The cuts are deep in other areas, but he is also proposing an extension of Arnold-passed fee and tax increases for five years to dig the state of this mess. I pray that Californians recognize the absolute necessity of doing this, painful as it is. I also pray that the California legislature gets it's act in gear. Finally.

Classes were easy - unfortu lately. All videos because fifth grade had their Revolutionary War program next door. I would far rather teach and do learning activities, but the videos were more than appropriate lessons. Just glad the day is over and done.

And, of course, Jon had a parent tour and wanted to come in. Whatever - stopped 'em at the door. Kathryn Dusek was one of the parents, so I'm looking forward to hearing what Jon said and the spin on the two school and no chorus

Back to the real world (sigh-:)

Back to the 5 a.m. Disgusting alarm thus morning. Did it, but not without a lot of muttering and wandering around trying to get revved for the day. Wonka wonka, in other words.

Only six classes today, which helped. Drizzly rainy morning, which meant yawning, surly children wiggling and chattering all over the place. We got through it. Not in any way approaching pretty, but we got through it. The sun came out right about lunch time, which was unexpected serendipity. Still cold and windy, but the sun made a huge positive difference after all these rainy days and weeks just past.

I'm grateful for the day, Lord. I'm grateful for the past two weeks of vacation, for time to rest and renew. We're back on it for another five and a half months, but I CAN do all of this.

Can and WILL.

Cheers to the new year

"Cheers to the new year and another chance to get it right." - Oprah Winfrey

Three conversations today with good friends of long standing. All of us agreed that 2011 HAS to be better than what we've all endured in 2010. HAS to be.

Time.

We haven't run out quite year, I hope.

Time to open the doors to new possibilities. I see wide French doors, panes of glistening sunlit glass, billowing sheers dancing to the ocean's breezy tune.

I see light.

I see sand and surf, blue skies kissed by early morning sunlight, the new day stretching out in front of all of us. Gentle, easy, positive and open.

Doors.

Smiling forth.

Bring on the sun.

Bring on the light.

Bring on new.

New and better

An end to strife. An end to bullying. An end to negatives.

Bring on the sun.

Thank you, Lord. Please help me to keep all of us safe, healthy, happy, and secure.

Please help me DO.

Bring on the sun.

Well, it's about time...

...and I'm resolved. No more shoulds or recriminations. No more negatives. I've had a lifetime of self putdowns, but no more. Time to celebrate the positives that make me real.

And worth it.

Because I am.

Why am I happy today?

Ten hours sleep helped.

No work helped.

Chinese lunch helped.

Good conversations with two close friends helped.

Three Siamese helped. A lot.

No, the house isn't pristine and the stuff isn't ready for next weeks return to work just yet, but that's okay. We're happy and home together. What else matters?

One of my 3 ...

One of my three isn't doing well. My Aramis, a 12 year old seal point Siamese, developed sudden onset kidney problems Thursday and has been hospitalized since early Saturday morning. This is our second round of kidney problems, the last being one week shy of a year ago. I'm grateful that he had a year of happiness and comfortable living, and pray we'll share many more when he shakes this off.

My other two are, of course, upset. Clingy, quiet, staying close by and Not at all their usual cheery, naughty selves.

How does one describe the joys of being totally in thrall to three Siamese? This is my third generation of uber-wonder-felines. Over thirty-five years of laughter, exasperation, forehead touches, purring, playful games of fishing pole, shredding of any paper not locked away in Siamese-proof hiding (not easily obtained, I assure you), repeated petty theft, 3 a.m. "hey, let's play!" stomping on my torso or paw up the nose "are you up yet? My food dish is only half full..." demands....

Thirty-five years of love.

Wouldn't have it any other way.

Times 3?

Three.

Why three?

I like odd numbers.

I play the piano. A lot.
In fact, I earn a goodly portion of my living by playing the piano.

I write on computer keyboards.
In fact, I earn a small portion of my living by writing on computer keyboards.
I hope to earn even more over the next year.

I share my home with three Siamese cats. Sweet, naughty, noisy, playful, funny, obnoxious, spoiled and wonderful Siamese.
Wouldn't be happy without 'em.
Not at all.

Three.
Areas of my life on which I'm focusing right now.

Health.

Spirituality and well-being.

Happiness.

Ultimately, isn't that last the crux of the umbrella?